


The sun in the jasmine cage

by Schatten_Und_Licht



Series: Eternal light of harmony [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-12 20:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12968163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schatten_Und_Licht/pseuds/Schatten_Und_Licht
Summary: According to his father's order, Soma must get married to a princess from a neighboring kingdom in order to establish the dynastic attitudes between the lands. All the preparations the celebration have fallen on his faithful companion - but is it the only burden for Agni?





	The sun in the jasmine cage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [your_taxidermy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_taxidermy/gifts).



This night promised to be the longest one in the entire Agni’s life.

With the coming of dawn, in those moments when the sun, timidly looking out from the horizon, slightly touches the earth with its warm and gentle rays, Agni's fate will change forever.

His everything is getting married today.

Right now he is in his room, hidden from prying eyes – is it Agni whom they consider to be an outsider? – behind a tightly closed door, surrounded by sisters, who should help him with pre-wedding ceremonies. And the person closest to prince in the whole palace, the one who honored him above all the rest of the world around, but, ironically, was only his servant, can only stand outside, leaning against the wall, unable to leave. He has no right even to be here – however, the sacred duty of protecting the prince day and night and being the faithful guardian on his side, Agni always placed above everything else and could without blinking an eye disobey any prescriptions.

His whole body was enveloped in lingering pain in his limbs and trembled with a small tremor from time to time – it was already the third day that Agni refused to go to bed and every hour occupied himself with a new business related to the preparation of the wedding. The happiest day in his young master’s life must be at least flawless. From all of his current concerns, from the endless running around, from need and desire to control everything and everyone in the palace – if only they did not fail, if only they did it all right! – and, at last, from the strongest worrying Agni literally couldn’t find himself a place.

Having taken over all the trouble of preparing the celebration and being the one who could confidently vouch for every part of it – he nevertheless found a thousand reasons for concern. Whether will the forever morose raja be polite enough with the guests, whether will the servants be not too gloomy. Whether will the bride get upset for a moment, and how will the groom feel about it... and whether will he have any regrets... no – about that it’s forbidden to think.

Because the most fateful word “wedding”, always leaving his lips with a gasp, each time is so close to finally get over Agni’s self-control and throw him on the ground in powerless sobbing.

How could he get so far that the idea of his prince's happiness in marriage, apart from the natural, necessary and legitimate joy, caused this poignant, obsessive, completely illegitimate pain in his chest. How naive was the former criminal, having imagined to himself that by touching this fair divine image, he will be able to burn out those nasty sinful strings in his soul that led him to the scaffold once, and push into the abyss now.

To admit this once and for all was exorbitantly difficult, but Agni was desperately and, unfortunately, irremediably in love with his master.

And it promised to become his damnation for the rest of his life.

The happiness of his prince was always identical with the happiness of Agni: the very goal of his existence from the first days of his new life was a carefree smile on his everything’s face. Not wishing that at least for a moment it faded away, Agni saw no other way for himself, except to deal with these unnecessary feelings – no matter how difficult it should be, he won’t allow anyone cast a shadow on the dearest life of his sun, even himself. Especially himself.

With force closing his reddened eyelids, he attempted to gather at least a piece of the concentration that his prince, without even knowing how right he was, called "samadhi". The highest degree of solace and bliss – and the prince is even unaware that only the realization of his safety and well-being instills in his faithful servant this feeling of blissful calmness. And today, in this happiest day for his master, Agni must gather all the forces to remain being his invisible support to the very end. He squeezed his eyes tight, to the stabbing pain in his eyelids; then took a deep breath, and tried to concentrate.

"Agni!"

A wheezing whisper, barely distinguishable in the corridor shrouded in silence – but it was not possible to confuse this voice with any other. Agni jumped to his feet. Looking out from behind the half-open door to the bedroom, Soma looked expectantly at the servant. Having forced himself to smile, Agni straightened, ready to accept his master’s orders. Today is the most important day in the life of his prince, and he shouldn’t see any single gloomy face beside him.

"Yes, Your Highness," there is not a single note of anxiety in his voice; only Lakshmi knows how hard it was for Agni. Soma quickly looks around, and then waves to Agni, gesturing him to come closer.

“Come on in, until no one is showed up here”.

Agni’s restraint immediately gives a crack.

"Something happened, master Soma?" – He instantly appears next to the prince. The latter, only confirming his fears, frowned in displeasure.

"Happened, Agni. My wedding happened, and it will take place this afternoon. Will you help me to prepare, or not?!”

For several seconds, Agni continued to stare in confusion at the sullen face of his master, and then, realizing what exactly he was demanding of him, gasped in amazement:

"So you... want me to..."

"I do," Soma said categorically, “want you to”. In response to his servant's stunned expression, he spread his hands. “What? No one else but you can do this. Or do you think that I will allow these muddies to touch me? What do you take me for?!” He snorted, as if proudly.

"My prince, I am highly flattered, but ..." Soma hissed at his khansama, then grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the room.

"Do you want us to be noticed?" – He put his hands on his hips. "With such a great difficulty I managed to send out Sati and Rajita, and if they meet Laksha and Anjali somewhere, they would understand that I lied to them!"

Traditionally, all the sacred rituals were supposed to be performed by the venerable sisters of the prince – whom, it turns out, he just sent out under the pretext that others would do it. At the risk of being caught in a deception – just so that…

...so that Agni was near him in the most exciting moments of his life. The servant instantly felt how his sore eyes filled with tears. There are no words that can express my gratitude for your so sincere appreciation. I will do anything to justify your trust.

“Come on”, Soma drags Agni after himself. "We have very little time left."

Obediently following his master, Agni sneaky, not feeling worthy to be involved in the sacred actions, looks around. The prince is dressed only in bandi* and dhoti** – the rich scarlet wedding sherwani embroidered with gold lies untouched on his bed. The whole room was drowning in the splendor of fresh flowers intertwined into bizarre garlands that were framing the door and window openings, flaunting on the walls and even hunging from the ceiling. This magnificence simultaneously shocked the imagination and squeezed the chest with the single painful thought of the inevitability of what was happening.

Having approached a spacious window decorated with magnificent weaving made of jasmine flowers, the prince jumps to the high windowsill with cat's ease and looks at Agni with anticipation. The latter is unable to suppress a quiet intermittent sigh, accompanied by a shot of pain in the heart and a hidden reverence in the eyes. You trust me, an outsider, more than your own blood, my wonderful prince. Agni timidly cut the distance between them, barely able to withstand the gentle look of his master. No matter how pleasant it is to look at these wonderful eyes, whose beauty at moments when he laughs, the sun itself envies – and this joy will not and can not belong to him. And very soon it will belong to the venerable wife of the prince. As for Agni, he is destined to bring him carefully to this line, guarding and defending him all the way, and then entrust him to reliable, gentle hands of his betrothed. Tomorrow – or rather, later today – this is exactly what he will do before the fragrance of wedding flowers, the sweet sound of solemn songs and the delicate smoke of the sacred flame. And now his sacred duty is to help the prince in the performance of the ritual called haldi***.

Agni sinks to his knees before his prince. In the moonlight, shining through the window, the ceremonial accessories gleam, the gilded surface of which seems quite faint and cold in the dim nightlight. Yielding to a sudden impulse, he, just barely touching, soothingly stroked the young man’s hair and froze when the latter leaned into his hand. Closing his eyes for a moment, Agni took a deep breath, trying to gain calmness – or at least mental strength, enough to imitate calmness.

Don’t worry, Your Highness. You will never know how much your unworthy servant dared to love you.

Putting his hand into the bowl with ceremonial liquid, Agni carefully, barely touching, passed his hand over the prince's cheek, leaving a bright honey-golden trace. The servant had to bend down close to his master's face, being in inadmissible intimacy to him – because otherwise the twilight concealed his features, and it would complicate the performance of the ritual. Listening to the now clearly audible heavy breath of Soma, Agni feels an inexplicable anxiety – and once again tries to get rid of the idea that, perhaps, it is still possible to turn back time. Literally putting into his inflamed from heavy thoughts consciousness the indisputable axiom – with any single word, gesture or expression, it’s forbidden to show the prince his hidden sorrow – he clings to these thoughts until the last golden smear touches the cheek of the future groom – and, pulling away, Agni can at last take a breath.

Now there was a time to cover the prince’s hands in the same mixture. Running lightly from the wrist to the shoulder of his master, Agni notices that his hand is unusually pale and cold. Mentally attributing this to the consequences of the pre-wedding fasting, Agni smiles softly and promises himself to prepare a lot of excellent desserts for the newlyweds next morning. Then, squatting down, Agni begins to cover the prince’s feet with the ritual fluid. All this time, Soma is silent, looking away – and, it must be said, this gave Agni serious worries about the mood of the young man. He is sombre, quiet, doesn’t look into his eyes – is he worried?

The corner of Agni's lips twitched up in a sad half-smile. Of course, he is worried. Is it possible for him to remain perfectly calm on the day when the gods send him the highest blessing in the life of any honest Indian? What can Agni do now? Only smile good-naturedly, complete the ceremony with the last neat touch, and mentally pray to all the gods, begging them to share with the prince their sublime serenity.

Rising to his feet, Agni takes a gilded jug of clean water and a soft towel to wash the master. As soon as he finishes wiping off the paint from Soma's face, the latter suddenly turns his head and looks straight into Agni's eyes. Agni wants to say at least something – but instead of that, he, in the most self-revealing way, freezes with a slightly opened mouth, chained to this endless universe in the eyes of his prince.

"I bet I look ridiculous now," Soma whispered. Enchanted, Agni remains silent in response, losing the ability to speak. Everything that applies to you – can not be ridiculous or bad in any way. Only with your presence you are able to sanctify everything you touch. "Hey, Agni?" The prince smiled slightly. “What are you thinking about?” He gently touched the string of snow-white hair that had emerged from under the turban – without even moving it away, just awkwardly smoothing. Feeling that his heart is either slowly melting or burning in a hellfire, Agni mentally signs his own death warrant and whispers softly, half-desperately:

“You are incredibly beautiful, my young prince”

The cheeks of the young man blushed immediately, and Agni realized with horror that he voiced his thoughts aloud. They were so natural to Agni: all of his glances directed towards the master, all of his gestures, all the caring touches – all of this was an endless expression of admiration and damned, doomed love.

“I mean… stuttered Agni, completely ashamed of his words and wishing he could take them back so his master wouldn’t ever hear. “that Nitya-ji**** is the most happy young princess in the world to marry such a fine man as you, Master Soma.” Agni hastily began to wash the paint from the hands and feet of the prince. "If you ever allowed yourself to doubt for a minute, I assure you, it's true. She will be immensely happy...”

“Unlike me.”

What?

Blindsidedly looking at his master, Agni desperately searched for hints of a smile in his face, a laughter in his eyes or voice, or a carelessness in his gestures. It can not be that he is not joking now, right? Otherwise...

“I don’t love her.”

Agni falls to his knees before his master.

“I don’t want to marry her”.

Short, dry words, leaving his prince’s lips, pierced the heart of his servant through, like bullets. His precious everything had just admitted that he would be unhappy in a marriage. And not to the blessed path to harmony and prosperity Agni now leads him, but pushes into the abyss of estrangement and misunderstanding which he will undoubtedly be surrounded by next to his unloved wife. Himself, with his own hands, he pushes him.

This just cannot happen. No, only not him, the fairest of the living. Shining like the sun itself, only such a life he is worthy of – fair, bright, friendly-warm. Almost on a physical level, Agni senses this icy, aching despair that swiftly permeates his whole body.

"You ..." he doesn’t even recognize his own voice, as if he comes from a distance, "are you sure?" It is difficult to imagine more ridiculous question, but Agni should know if there is even one more chance that the young man is – no, he cannot lie – just exaggerates, led by pre-wedding excitement?

All the hopes are scattered into dust when Soma turns to face him – and Agni sees tears in the prince’s eyes.

"Otherwise, I would not have brought you here," the restrain turns into ashes after Agni felt hot teardrops on his own cheeks. 

“Just tell me, what should I marry, what I supposed to love for all my life?” Wiping off an unwilled tear, Soma arrogantly crosses his arms over his chest. “Her empty blind eyes? Her cold hands, her thick overpainted lips? I wonder if I could even take her hand without trembling of this coolness with which she can freeze all the vain Bharat*****.”

Yes – that's it, the worst of perspectives. Usually the prince is not bothered by coldness and indifference towards him – because he knows that sooner or later he will certainly melt the ice in the soul of the one whom he wants to see as a friend – and he wants to make everyone his friend. And now he is desperate so much that he left even attempts. Agni was ready to howl from the heavy, suffocating despair that struck his own head. 

"It's not me marrying her, it's Bengal marrying Punjab. My father is marrying her father, nothing more.” Soma nervously tears off petals from flowers in a garland. “That’s why among all the lovely young women in the whole country he decided to choose the most brainless one. Most pretty one, maybe, but so unattractive. Just because she was so lucky to reborn as a princess.”

What else, however, could be expected from a dynastic marriage? Only now Agni understands how wrong he was, putting so much hope in it. Most likely, he so passionately did not want to see his prince unhappy, that the mirages drawn by the tortured consciousness desperately seemed real.

"What can I do, Agni?" Soma whispers quietly, and the servant realizes in horror that this is not even a question. His master had lost hope as well. With a frown, Agni lowers his head, so that the prince could not see the pain on his only close person’s face, even not immediately realizing that he puts his forehead on prince’s lap – and Soma, in turn, wraps his arms around Agni’s neck and presses his cheek against his head. What can I do for you now, my dear bittersweet happiness?

No one considered how much time they had spent so, clinging to each other with silent despair. Finally, Soma releases Agni from the embrace – and then tears the flower of jasmine from the garland, smiles sadly and weaves it into the hair of his companion. Raising his head, but not daring to look up, the latter exclaims silent pleas for forgiveness, and the prince – my dearest god, what are you doing? – doesn’t not remove his hand from the servant's face, instead of it weightlessly caressing his cheek with his fingertips. Agni knows that if at that moment he dares look at the warm – despite the gloomy light and cold around them, warm – eyes of his master, he risks not to hold back his tears of blood. He can’t know what Soma thinks about at this moment, but after a second the latter hastily removes his hand and bowed his head. And, perhaps, this very gesture helps an absolutely crazy idea to appear in Agni’s head. It’s highly dangerous and in the best of cases both of them will perish. But in it alone Agni sees their salvation.

“We…” Agni blamed himself for daring to say “we”, “we can escape, my prince”. 

Soma lifts his head. Agni struggles with the desire this to catch the prince in his arms and right this second rush with him out the window, when he sees the long-awaited hope in the golden eyes. Feeling an instant burst of energy, he starts to speak quickly, as if clinging to a constantly slipping thread. 

"We can go anywhere in the world! England, States, or somewhere else… I can throw the entire world to your feet, if you want it! His Majesty will never find you, and there, far away from him, you’ll find yourself a new bride, a true endless love…” Agni was almost choking in his own tears. “My prince, it is still possible… Please… I…” too many I’s, thought Agni and stopped himself. “There’s no treasure in the world that could be compared to your sincere happy smile. Please go,” he finally dared to lift his head up and look in the deep, tear-filled eyes of his young fragile master. “We have only an hour till the sun comes up. You… you probably will never have such a chance… to find your one and only.”

It took less than a few seconds to Soma to nod slowly.

Agni felt like he was saved from death again.

“Good, my prince” he rose up. “I’ll prepare everything necessary for our escape”.

There shouldn’t have been “our”, he said to himself with anger. He turned away from Soma and hastily went to the door – time is running out already.

“I’ve already found.”

Agni froze, as if glued to the ground. 

So, this is it. His master loved.

At this moment he immediately realized that, no matter how long and properly he had been preparing himself for that, no matter how many times had been convincing himself that it should happen, that it should be anyone but not him – he still mindlessly hoped. Madman, merciful gods, what a madman.

“He is quite contrary to her”.

He. Agni frowned. So good that he managed to turn his back to his master. So he, this charming creature, the embodiment of all earthly innocence, fallen in love with a man. Such a pain he’s supposed to bear if the society around him knows. Gods. Please. He doesn’t deserve this.

"Among all this palace solitude, he is my only ray of light, and only in his arms my life becomes bright."

Each word of his prince makes Agni’s soul writhe in torment. Where are they have to go now to hide the master from persecution, but not to turn him apart of his love? This person is definitely blessed by the heavens themselves, if he possesses such a priceless treasure as the heart of his prince. The servant desperately hopes that his everything's chosen one is worthy of this gift from above. Though, by the way, how were they managing to see each other when Agni had been always beside him?..

“He doesn’t even want me to know about his own love”.

It is impossible not to love you, my dearest treasure, thinks Agni, feeling genuine agony in his heart. Whoever this lucky person is, let him...

“But I know, Agni”.

Agni lost the ground under his feet. 

Fully aware of what Soma said, Agni feels how his mortally wounded heart comes to life.

His prince stepped down from the windowsill – Agni hears his quiet, unsure steps – and  
weightlessly, unusually timidly embraces him, for the first time allowing himself tenderness of this kind. Feeling how Soma gently snuggles up to him and wraps his arms tightly around him, Agni is afraid to even breathe. These cold trembling hands are pulling him out of dark, overfilled with fears and suffers, ice-cold abyss.

Countless times Soma squeezed Agni in friendly embraces, threw his arm over his shoulder, clung to him at moments of fear – but those touches had nothing in common with these fragile and adoring touches. Agni was afraid to move, unable to believe what was happening: the sun itself came down in his hands. Barely breathing, he turns slowly towards the master, and, without holding back his tears, embraces him in return. You are amazing, my prince. From all sides you are showered with gold – but you only hold the small copper coin in your pocket tighter.

Unable to stand on his feet with excitement, Agni kneels before the prince, and the latter – unbelievable! – does the same. Hesitantly – without fear of pushing him away, but fearful of breaking this fragile atmosphere of pure tenderness – trembling lips timidly touched wet tears-covered cheek. 

“Let’s run to the place where I can be free”.

Grasping the prince’s palm with both hands, Agni silently – words are unnecessary anymore – puts it to his chest. You have complete possession of the keys from my heart – I am ready to get for you the keys from every corner of the earth.

"Where I can love you without regard for someone's silly ambitions."

There is no such place in the world yet, Agni thinks sadly. But even if so, he is ready to take a fight to the death with anyone who dares to question their right to be happy with each other. Agni brings Soma's hand to his lips with a completely familiar gesture – but kisses it with a new, special tenderness that claims the beginning of a new life they just stepped into. At the same time, a gentle smile blossoms on the lips of the young man – and what happened then is what Agni did not dare to hope for even now: slowly leaning closer, Soma looked thoughtfully into his eyes, and then lightly, like with a butterfly’s wing, touched Agni’s lips with his own. And in this timid, ephemeral kiss, that was him all the way – just like he was now, lively and sincere, with the bare heart. Agni instantly dissolved in the ocean of emotions caused only by this one innocent weightless touch.

Their lips had parted for a brief moment, during which their glances met – and Agni felt like somebody cut off his oxygen when he had seen fear in these beautiful golden eyes. At the same moment he pulled his prince back, dragging him back into the kiss, filled with all the boundless love and tenderness that he was capable of. Soma kissed back instantly – with such feeling and trembling that Agni lost his sense of reality. The most precious of the treasures – one of those for which others zealously hunt for all their lives – with a meek smile, undoubtedly entrusts himself to him. If Agni fails to save him, he will be the greatest criminal among the living.

Finally found each other, they were ready to continue this long-awaited kiss for eternity, but, unfortunately, there was no time left for it. Therefore, Agni softly pulls away from his everything and resolutely rises to his feet.

They really need to hurry.

***

When the crimson band of the rising sun appeared on the horizon, the room of the twenty-sixth prince remained empty – only the jasmine garland gently rocked in the wind that was seeping into the open window.

Nobody saw, fortunately, two men, hurrying along the dusty sandy paths of Calcutta, in identical cloaks with a hood, hiding their faces, quite recognizable in this city. One of them still looked back in fear every minute, but the other firmly and surely held his hand, not unclasping his fingers for a single second.

Now all that they have is a couple of knots with the most necessary things and unquenchable hope for the future. And, with any luck – an immense eternity ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> * Bandi - Indian men's clothing, similar to a vest.
> 
> ** Dhoti - men's clothing of the peoples of South and South-East Asia, a type of loincloth (a strip of white cotton cloth, sometimes with a colored border). The wearing of dhoti is prescribed by the Hindu notions of non-sewn clothing as ritually pure.
> 
> *** Haldi - one of the Indian pre-wedding ceremonies: application of a special ceremonial mixture of turmeric, mixed (depending on the regional differences) with a rose water, or sandalwood powder or almond oil, onto the face, hands and feet of the bride and groom. There is a belief that the performance of this ritual banishes evil spirits. After the ceremony and before the wedding, the bride and groom are forbidden to leave the house in order to avoid the evil eye.
> 
> **** The suffix -ji, following the name of the interlocutor, symbolizes the speaker's respectful attitude to them (similar to the suffix -san in Japanese).
> 
> ***** Bharat - that's how Indians call their country.


End file.
